Happy New Year... April Fools!
Gaslighting, Hilarious, or Both?
Did you know today used to be the actual New Year?
It sounds like a prank... and it was meant to be. Only, for reasons us psychologists today would refer to as GASLIGHTING.
In 1564, King Charles IX of France officially shifted the New Year to January 1st. Later, Pope Gregory XIII reinforced this with the Gregorian calendar. But the real "mind game" happened in 1752, when the British Empire finally fell in line with the Vatican.
The authorities—the British Royalty and the Pope—didn't just change the date; they rebranded anyone who stayed loyal to the spring equinox as a "Fool." If you didn't obey the new decree, you were mocked, shamed, and told your reality was wrong. They literally invented a holiday to bully people into forgetting their own internal rhythm.
So, is it Gaslighting, Hilarious, or Both?
At CouplesTherapy.co, we think it’s both. It’s the "triple threat" history of April 1st where three massive holidays collided—including the one where we literally get the word "hilarious" from. To understand why this day is the ultimate "Relationship Reset," let’s look at the protagonists (the Hope) and the antagonists (the Fear).
1. The Beginning: The Hilaria (The Rebellion of Joy)
When: 204 BC.
The Group: The Phrygian Immigrants. Outsiders in Rome.
Protagonist (Hope): Attis, the god who came back to life.
Antagonist (Fear): Stagnation. Fearing the "vibe" of winter would never end.
The Celebration: On the Hilaria (where we get "hilarity"), they exploded into a day of masks. You could mock authority figures without getting arrested. It was the first time in history joy was a legal requirement.
The Message: You don't have to be a "serious adult" all the time. Play is the antidote to the grind.
2. The Middle: The Veneralia (The Rebellion of Love)
When: 114 BC.
The Group: Roman Matrons (married women) and their families.
Protagonist (Hope): Venus Verticordia (The "Changer of Hearts").
Antagonist (Fear): Moral Decay. Rome was worried people were becoming cold and bitter toward their partners.
The Celebration: Women gathered at public baths to wash the goddess’s statue and then themselves. They wore flower crowns and drank milk and honey to "reset" their marriages and wash away the "niggles"—those tiny, annoying resentments.
The Message: Your heart isn't stuck. You have the power to change your mind and choose to love your partner again.
3. The Present: The "April Fish" (The Rebellion of Tradition)
When: 1564 – 1752 AD.
The Group: The Calendar Rebels.
Protagonist (Hope): The Old Ways. Celebrating when the earth was actually blooming.
Antagonist (Fear): The "System." The British Royalty and the Pope moved the goalposts, and the "Moderns" bullied anyone who didn't follow the new decree.
The Celebration: These "Fools" were mocked with "April Fish" (Poisson d'Avril)—paper fish pinned to their backs to symbolize a young, easily caught fish (or a person easily tricked).
The "Down the Middle"
What do a masked immigrant, a bathing Roman wife, and a "foolish" rebel have in common? They all used April 1st to break a cycle.
Hilaria broke the cycle of sadness.
Veneralia broke the cycle of bitterness.
The Rebels broke the cycle of the "System."
At CouplesTherapy.co, we help couples navigate their biggest problems with creative solutions that—when handled with skill and finesse—can actually feel like play. In the end, you might even come to find that what you were fighting over, or feeling gaslit by, was actually hilarious. And wouldn't that be nice?
Don't let the "Archives" of your past or the "System" of the present dictate your future. You aren't a "fool" for choosing your own rhythm—you are the Architect of your own connection.
Happy New Year... April Fools!
With humor,
Jessica Hansen, LMFT & Founder - CouplesTherapy.co 🍒
Ready to reclaim your Relational Sovereignty?
Book a consultation with Jessica Hansen, LMFT today to start your reset.